The Experts: You Better Believe It
Dear Keith and Maura,
My boyfriend and I talk on the phone constantly, but lately he doesn't seem to have as much time. He always tells me he loves me but I'm feeling
dismissed and don't know how to handle it. What should I do?
Unfulfilled in Alabama
This may sound backwards, but focusing on someone else’s behavior
does not often get us what we really want.
You say you are feeling dismissed, so we will assume that you would like to feel embraced, loved, cared for, attended to. If you spend your time
second-guessing why your boyfriend is behaving the way he is, you will only make yourself crazy. You can (and probably will) make up a million different stories in your head, and whether or not they are even true, none of them will make you feel any better.
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