Drop Your Story

I think of all the time and energy spent in the past. How many times do we use something that happened in the past to keep us from achieving something today? The only way that something that happened in the past can affect us today is if we bring it forth into the moment and use it against us. How can the way your father treated you 25 years ago sway you into choosing defeat today? The actual thing that happened doesn’t have to have any power. It’s what you are choosing now in this moment to do about it that means everything right now. 

Why do we give so much power to other people? 

Example – 

The story: “My boss treated me badly a month ago. He snapped my head off and made me feel stupid because I asked him a simple question…and, now I fear him every day at work…I am uncomfortable around him…I think he hates me, he judges me, he can’t wait until I quit, he’ll never like me.”

The truth: He had a bad day. He got a call from his boss, and his boss said that if he didn’t get sales up by 10% in this quarter he would find himself looking for another job. You asked him a question right after he hung up the phone, and he took out his frustration on you because you were there and asked him a question. He went home, decompressed and forgot all about it. He didn’t apologize because he doesn’t even remember snapping at you. Once he got home, processed the day and let it go…it was gone…along with the fact that he snapped at you that day.” 

What did you make it mean: For the last month you have been torturing yourself by making up this “story” about what his one bad comment “means” about you! Do you see how this can get out of hand quickly if we don’t catch ourselves right away?

An option you could have chosen: “Wow, he must really be having a bad day to snap at me like that. He usually doesn’t do that. I do a good job here; I don’t think my question was odd or stupid in any way. It must just be a case of bad timing. I’ll just let it go right here and right now. Yeah, that feels much better to me.” 

Folks…the only moment we really have is NOW. The past is gone. The future is not here yet. We do HAVE right now, so what will we choose NOW? 

Right now…close your eyes and take three slow deep breaths…and then open your eyes and keep reading. Go ahead…

None of those three breaths cost you a dime. In the moments of your taking those breaths you didn’t want or need for anything. It didn’t matter if the rent was due. No one was mad at you. You weren’t starving, mad or sad. You just stopped down for a moment and took three breaths. 
There is a saying that I used to say a lot in my writings, “If we could get the whole world to sit down at the same time, and take three deep breaths...for that 15 seconds there would be world peace.” No one would be fighting, judging, hating, wanting, begging, pleading, abusing, swearing, watching the news, flipping each other off, thinking crazy thoughts, hurting others or themselves in any way. They would just take three deep breaths, and re-connect themselves to their breath…and for those three breaths we would have world peace. 

We don’t have to do anything for that breath. We don’t even have to remember to take the breath. It happens automatically for us. What a gift…yet, how many times do we take this simple breath for granted? Don’t we even sometimes forget about the breath all together? It keeps happening whether we remember or not.

If we pick up something that is super HOT…what happens? We drop it…right? We notice it is hot, we say “ouch” and we drop it. Why do we drop it? (Because it hurts to hold onto it.) So, if it hurts to hold onto things that hurt us, why then do we work so hard to hold onto our stories? I have many coaching clients, and the one common theme among those who hire a life-coach is this; they want to do something good in the world to help others. When I ask them why they haven’t done it so far, or what is holding them back from starting…it’s always some past story they are re-creating today. Something like; “My dad said I’d never amount to anything…My mom used to make fun of me for singing…My writing teacher said my writing style wasn’t good enough for the newspapers, My glee club teacher said I had a bad singing voice in 1st grade…etc. etc.” None of that has to mean anything about today…unless we choose it again today.

If I let my past story run me…right now I would be an alcoholic, drug addict, manic-depressive welfare recipient. I certainly wouldn’t be taking the time to type this right now, because I’d probably be so stoned that I would have forgotten to do it at all. Now, I’m not saying anything bad about any of these choices, but they were not for me. There are far too many things I want to accomplish in this life to let any of these things hold me back. If I choose this story of my past, not only will I not be able to do anyone else any good, but also, I will be miserable. 

I choose to take this life one breath at a time. With this breath I choose to feel good. With this breath I choose compassion for others and myself. With this breath, I choose to forgive myself for any story that I was making true from the past. With this breath, I choose to have a great day, no matter what someone says to me…if someone says something to me that I don’t like…I’ll leave it right there where it happened. Today I choose to react differently if someone cuts me off on the freeway…what I’ll do is remember the times that I accidentally cut someone off myself, and how I felt sorry for what I had done when they were looking at me like, “What are you doing?” For this breath, I will think about what a good person I am…and how I am always doing the very best I can at all moments. Sometimes I make mistakes…and so do others. Today I will forgive as quickly as possible…this includes myself. With this breath, I will take a step out the door and do my best to remember these things…and if I forget and get all pissed at someone, I’ll forgive myself and I’ll try again. Today is the best day of my life. I start my whole life over today. Today is the best day I have ever lived! This is the calmest breath I have ever taken. With each breath I feel better and better, healthy and happy. And so it is…in this moment.

Blessings,

Keith Leon

Keith and Maura

Successful Communications, Inc.

Los Angeles, California 310-823-2661

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